Entitled husband claims wife can't be trusted after she's 15 minutes late to deliver towels for him & the kids, even though she dropped everything at work and it was his responsibility in the first place

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  • 01
    Font - Posted by u/aitatowels 19 hours ago 22 2 AITA telling my wife I can't trust her after she didn't text me about towels
  • 02
    Font - My wife and I are in our 30s. I had a stroke last year, which was stressful, but I am doing well. I had aphasia as a side effect. I pass as normal to most people. Since the stroke our communication is worse.
  • 03
    Font - Sometimes when I talk to her, she says I'm mean, and she cries and I have no idea why. I don't know if I'm misspeaking, or she's sensitive, or if something I say is actually mean. This didn't happen much before the stroke, but it happens a lot now. I try to be nice when we talk.
  • 04
    Font - Today, I took my kids to swim class. I got there and realized I had forgotten towels. I texted my wife, and she offered to go home and get towels and bring them to me. I replied thanking her.
  • 05
    Font - I got the kids in the pool, and called her. She was still at work, and said her car was blocked in and she was finding the person who blocked her in. Her coworkers were getting her towels and she would come to the pool when she could. I didn't hear from her for 15 minutes. I
  • 06
    Font - considered for towels, or sun-drying the kids, but I was just stuck because I didn't know if my wife was coming. I know some people would handle the uncertainty better, but it stressed me out. She showed up with the towels, we talked, and she left. I didn't say much because I was feeling upset and am very careful if I'm upset and talking to my wife. asking the front desk
  • 07
    Font - When she got home, she offered to finish dinner and put down the kids, since she knew I had been with them all afternoon. I said sure, since I still had some work left. I asked if it was ok to talk, and she said ok. I told her I feel like I can't trust her when I ask her to do something because she won't update me if there are unforeseen circumstances.
  • 08
    Font - I was careful to say I wasn't criticizing her, just sharing how I felt. I could tell she was upset. I asked her if she understood me, and she repeated it back to me. It sounded like she understood.
  • 09
    Font - I asked her if I said something mean. She said that she didn't blame me, but that it hurt her feelings that I would complain to her without thanking her or thinking about how hard she worked to get me the towels. I told her that I DID thank her, I immediately texted "thank you" when she said she would come. She also said something sarcastic like "and you're welcome for coming home and offering to take the kids!"
  • 10
    Font - What does my gratitude have to do with not trusting her? I appreciate everything she does for me. The offer to do my chores is very nice, but I guess it came with strings. If she does that for me, then I can only feel gratitude. So I told her not to bother. I also said something like "don't do me any favors", which I guess is not the nicest choice of words.
  • 11
    Font - I think she's the AH because she is self absorbed, and can't be there for me when I have negative emotions. I think I might be the AH because she's upset and I know she tries to give me the benefit of the doubt, and if so I'm hoping reddit can explain it to me.
  • 12
    Font - imothro 19 hr. ago 8 & 51 More Commander in Cheeks ... Your wife dropped EVERYTHING at work to bring you towels that YOU FORGOT.
  • 13
    Font - And you are complaining that she didn't communicate enough with you while she was doing this? While she was juggling leaving her workplace where she is supposed to be working, dealing with a double parked situation, and trying to pick up the slack on the basic parenting duties that you are failing at.
  • 14
    Font - I don't know if this is the stroke that is causing you to behave in such an entitled, selfish way, but if it is you need to be in some sort of therapy to work on redeveloping your empathy because right now your brain is on a course to destroy all of your relationships.
  • 15
    Font - YTA. I have sympathy for you because of your condition but that does not make you any less of an AH in this situation.
  • 16
    Font - Purple-Explorer-6701. 19 hr. ago edited 19 hr. ago 0²804 2 Partassipant [2] I wish I had an award to give you. Would OP rather have her work out solutions or keep him updated every minute on her progress?
  • 17
    Font - Not only that, but if my husband asked me to leave work and bring towels that he forgot, when the option existed to just get some from the front desk, I would be very upset at his lack of consideration and job. for my time
  • 18
    Font - OP, YTA, and I have a feeling you were before, but your stroke had made the situation more difficult on your wife. She is now jugging her career, the kids, and your additional needs, and you're heaping more emotional weight on her. You need to look into mental health therapy, but I believe speech therapy would also help you navigate some of these situations as well.
  • 19
    Font - neqailaz 16 hr. ago ● S & 3 More Replying to you as otherwise would get buried. Speech Pathologist here. OP, /u/aitatowels please seek out a Speech Therapy evaluation for cognitive-communication therapy (e.g. organization of thought, problem solving, anticipatory plannning, etc).
  • 20
    Font - damagetwig 17 hr. ago edited 14 hr. ago ● ● If you can find a couple this never happens to I will be highly impressed. Edit: if you're going to comment and tell me how great you are at relationships and never messed up ever, not even once: congratulations, I am highly impressed, just like I said. There are always people who are lucky or who are just damn good people in general and have their shit together. That doesn't make the rest of us awful people or our relationships doomed.
  • 21
    Font - demiurbannouveau 17 hr. ago ? My husband and I very very occasionally get in a fight about something, or aggravate each other, but he is never mean to me and I hope I'm never mean to him. And we have more friction than most of the couples we know. If you're in a relationship where even occasionally your partner is so mean to you that you cry, please consider therapy.
  • 22
    Font - hammocks 16 hr. ago Partassipant [1] No I think 'making your spouse cry with how mean you are being' is not a thing that happens in most relationships.

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